she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
3pm strippers are depressing
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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