Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
