So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize