I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
