well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
