also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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