His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
