I wish my penis had an off switch
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
