If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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