At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
