i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
