real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
