She's JV to your varsity
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize