I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
