Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
babies were throwing up all over the place
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize