Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize