She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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