you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize