We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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