i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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