oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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