Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
jump out the window naked night went bad
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