lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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