No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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