I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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