loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
