Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
