His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
