yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
