I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
