Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
