Please, let me fuck your mom
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
