You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize