I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
