i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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