I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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