Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
