did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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