Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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