he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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