you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
