I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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