Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
