Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
