There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
