Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
