I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
