Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
