Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize