Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
