I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
