I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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