Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
