i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize