At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
