this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
