he thought i was a dude.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
do nipples grow back?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
