it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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