did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
