ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
