I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize