I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
