I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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