I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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