ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
