Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
