I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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