3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Maybe he injected his testicle?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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