I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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