I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
