I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
