I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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