dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
