your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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