i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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