That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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