sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
